Beliefs are bullshit. This has been a huge one for me and I will share some of those beliefs throughout these lessons. I cannot believe how many decisions in life I have made based on beliefs I held that weren't true. Beliefs change based on our experiences, our perspective and all the information we take in from all the places information is available in the world. They are not meant to be held tightly at all costs. They are meant to shift...to transform, as more information becomes available...as we grow and come into who we really are rather than who we thought we needed to be or who we were told we were.
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Dragonfly photo taken along the Cuyuna TrailJuly 2013[/caption]
Most of our beliefs are acquired before we are 7 years old. We are like a little sponge through that age, soaking up whatever anyone tells us. We accept these beliefs as our own and, often, never question them. I like to question. I like to explore. I like to know that what I believe has a healthy purpose (at this point in my life - that wasn't always the case) and serves me well. I don't want to make decisions based on beliefs that hold me back, keep me safe and don't allow me to grow as a person. I recently went through a bit of a hard time when I realized how many of my beliefs about relationships, specifically, were bullshit and how I had spent my entire life building relationships based on the bullshit. I missed out on a lot. I made a lot of mistakes. It was in this space that I discovered the true importance of asking myself...
- Where did this belief come from?
- Is it even mine?
- Do I have new information that might shift this belief?
- Does it allow me to live in the moment?
- Is it for my greatest good?
Right after I wrote this, I took a quick break and headed on over to Facebook to see what was going on there. I came across a short video with Byron Katie and thought you might enjoy it.
What beliefs would you like to let go of today?
Oh, I agree, this is so, so, so, so true. I am finding more and more beliefs pop up that I wonder why the hell I have been believing them for the past 30-40 years. And trying to make sure I don't pass on the same beliefs to my daughter (4). The one I am working hard at changing lately is "what other people think of you is supremely important". It's a biggie, but I feel there is light at the end of the people pleasing tunnel.
ReplyDeleteExcellent questions to be asking Michele. And I think it's a really helpful perspective to remember we're continuing to grow, evolve, change and what once may have been helpful might be utterly unhelpful now. It's interesting to think we all willing to strive to move forward, and yet we rarely think about what old beliefs we might be chained to that are holding back our progress.
ReplyDeleteVery interesting, Deborah! It's so important to look at both sides because you cannot find success without having the beliefs that support your ability to be successful!
ReplyDeleteIt's it crazy, Christie? Mine are definitely a mix of ones I don't want to pass on but also just beliefs I held about different aspects of my life i.e. it's wrong to care for your spouse and housework and everything should be split evenly that I know where they came from and they don't fit who I am. I'm not saying I should do it all but one of the love languages is acts of service...so what if that's actually one of mine and I've been fighting against it all this time?! Crazy...because it is definitely one of mine but I was too closed off to see it. Now I love caring for another and doing small things for them to make their life easier.
ReplyDeleteSo most of our beliefs are learned before we are 7 years old? and then it takes us the rest of our lives to un-believe them! How ironic... that's all I have to say.
ReplyDeleteSO many of my beliefs have been limiting ones.
ReplyDeleteThere are few I haven't reconsidered and found wanting.
I love people, like you, who are willing to jump up and down on them
to see if they're really true for them. Thanks for this stir....I love your
empowering journey,
Jennifer
Isn't that crazy? I know...there isn't much to say and we can only hope that much of what we were "fed" was healthy in nature :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jennifer. It's so helpful to have wonderful people like you around me as I go through this journey.
ReplyDelete